the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
