I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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