So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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