you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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