Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
