it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
