She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
