I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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