Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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