if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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