Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
