in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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