Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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