And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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