i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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