pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize