Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
