So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
