Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm so fucking centered right now
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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