She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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