My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
