Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize