New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
