Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
