question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
