Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
