I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
