Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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