He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
