She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
