Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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