I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
