I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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