even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
