I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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