There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Farmville is her only friend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
