theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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