You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
