so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
