He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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