No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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