were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
