What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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