woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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