...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
