never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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