Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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