i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
