The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
