Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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