glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
