Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize