Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
