Its about making memories worth repressing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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