There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize