I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
