I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
