just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
