For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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