somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
