Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
