Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
