She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
