so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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