it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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