how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
