I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
