I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
