If that was your dad, he is hot
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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